No-one gives a flying shit about my first post on this blog, you are probably the first person to read it. There are currently around 70 million blogs in existence, luckily most of them are shit. Thats the same number of people in America that own a gun (perhaps I can convince Americans to kill one blogger each). Anyway, what really grates my cheese is trying to come up with a name for a blog? Blogs enslave you with the torturous task of having to give it a name. I haven't even seen it or written in it yet? How could I name it? Thats like an inventor coming up with a name for an invention, before inventing it. And no matter how many times you try and convince yourself it's not important. Deep down, you know having a good blog name is more crucial than mozzarella is to pizza.
Can't it just be BLOG#70,391,184? save all the pain and hassle. No of course not, because you have to distinguish yourself and show off how clever you are. It's a daunting challenge because you're not sure if you can go back and change your name if it turns out to be a gay name. It wouldn't be that bad, but the point is bloggers are annoyingly precocious with there blog names and they've eaten all the good names up and left me with a few cheese and onion sandwich triangles (on brown bread). After considereing 'writing a blog', you register, all excited and ready, and then as if out of nowhere Captain "Name Your Blog" pops up and starts whipping his originality chain. Every name you type theres a 'checking availability' silence and then nnnnnooo that name has already been used with an unspoken "moron". Sometimes there's a suggestion... 'why don't you try putting that name with you're real name on the end?' Fuck off! I'll tell you why, because then it would sound like I've been beaten by Captain 'Give It A Name' which is the nail in my blog coffin. I'm sure when God made the earth, he didn't have the same problem, "oo sorry God, that name is unavailable, there's already an Earth 3 billion light years away but, hey why not try God_earth0bc or Earth_god06?" By the end of the process you're tired, pissed off (only laugh you've had was a delerius laugh when you discovered the blog name 'checking availability.blogspot.com' has already been taken, as well as 'alreadytaken.blogspot.com') and you settle on some uncool bullshit like 'thinkyourselfsilly.blogspot.com' I feel about as big as an ikea pencil.
Can't it just be BLOG#70,391,184? save all the pain and hassle. No of course not, because you have to distinguish yourself and show off how clever you are. It's a daunting challenge because you're not sure if you can go back and change your name if it turns out to be a gay name. It wouldn't be that bad, but the point is bloggers are annoyingly precocious with there blog names and they've eaten all the good names up and left me with a few cheese and onion sandwich triangles (on brown bread). After considereing 'writing a blog', you register, all excited and ready, and then as if out of nowhere Captain "Name Your Blog" pops up and starts whipping his originality chain. Every name you type theres a 'checking availability' silence and then nnnnnooo that name has already been used with an unspoken "moron". Sometimes there's a suggestion... 'why don't you try putting that name with you're real name on the end?' Fuck off! I'll tell you why, because then it would sound like I've been beaten by Captain 'Give It A Name' which is the nail in my blog coffin. I'm sure when God made the earth, he didn't have the same problem, "oo sorry God, that name is unavailable, there's already an Earth 3 billion light years away but, hey why not try God_earth0bc or Earth_god06?" By the end of the process you're tired, pissed off (only laugh you've had was a delerius laugh when you discovered the blog name 'checking availability.blogspot.com' has already been taken, as well as 'alreadytaken.blogspot.com') and you settle on some uncool bullshit like 'thinkyourselfsilly.blogspot.com' I feel about as big as an ikea pencil.
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